Its his birthday soon!
Its his birthday soon!!

AHHH... lol....

I had to message him first before 12....

Couldn't risk my message being held up by some dumb telecom company and reach him at 12:01...

wahaha...

happy birthday boo!

=p

I love you and I love you more then you love me!!

haha...

*hugglez*


I miss you sooo much...

Grow up k?

I'll say for you an ultra super duper long prayer tonight to ask God to bless ya.. =)

thats the least i can do.......



a year past, not a year gone.
time transcends moment but is limited by eternity
love transcends eternity but is limited by two
when two are in love, forever will seem like a day...

stay with me forever, loves...

Your Power Color Is Indigo

At Your Highest: You are on a fast track to success - and others believe in you. At Your Lowest: You require a lot of attention and praise. In Love: You see people as how you want them to be, not as how they are. How You're Attractive: You're dramatic flair makes others see you as mysterious and romantic. Your Eternal Question: "Does This Work Into My Future Plans?"

What's Your Power Color?

Haha.. quite like me... hmm.. one of my more accurate tests....

Dunno whether others feel the same or not...

?? Which Angel Or Demon Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Yaay... finally some light

Yay. with a capital Y.
Finally the SB video project is getting a headstart.. lol... finally. after hours of fiddling with Adobe After Effects, we're ready to go!

or we were ready to go...

haha... i think we lost the tape.

Don't kill me ms kwa....

I didnt know that the video cam was in such high demand... I promise to go and reshoot all the footages... by myself, if need be...

buy still, I'm proud to say that Sze Bim and me have completed at least 14-20% of the video has been completed today. Though visually, it may not seem like alot, we've done something that might have been pushed till later =)


yaay.


Met Nicky didi in SP today. Lol.. he looks so different... I guess must be the stress that he's facing in NP...
Apparantly, the Mass Communication in NP ain't faring so well either... their egoistic culture is taking a toll on them..
(sorry to all NP mass comm friends... its jus the culture.. you all are still my good friends ok?)
From classed backstabbing other classes, to open insulting and bitching.... sigh.. i'm glad that I didnt choose NP Mass Comm....

But either way, the modules this term are getting very VERY dry.....
I'm getting very bored of them....
Maybe with Rajan's class and Ms Peter's class as an exception, coz one tends to be very nice to us, while the other is a avid dry-joker...

Contrary to popular belief, Mass Comm isn't exectly very slack or entertaining people all the time. In fact, management and business is very much something that has been integrated into the system....
it irks me so much to learn essentials of finance or economics, but like it or not, i'm sure it'll benefit me...

right.. i should continue to have this kind of mentality the rest of this semester.


Its been a long time since I have seen him.... I miss him alot....
sigh...
His birthday is coming up, and I havn't got the time to buy his present yet.... Anybody got any ideas what to get?


*loneliness has its way of getting to your head.... i miss you so much"

Drop a pebble in the water: just a splash, and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Spreading, spreading from the center, flowing on out to the sea.
And there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.

Drop a pebble in the water: in a minute you forget,
But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,
And those little waves a-flowing to a great big wave have grown;
You've disturbed a mighty river just by dropping in a stone.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on.
They keep spreading, spreading, spreading from the center as they go,
And there is no way to stop them, once you've started them to flow.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute you forget;
But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,
And perhaps in some sad heart a mighty wave of tears you've stirred,
And disturbed a life was happy ere you dropped that unkind word.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: just a flash and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Bearing hope and joy and comfort on each splashing, dashing wave
Till you wouldn't believe the volume of the one kind word you gave.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: in a minute you forget;
But there's gladness still a-swelling, and there's joy acircling yet,
And you've rolled a wave of comfort whose sweet music can be heard
Over miles and miles of water just by dropping one kind word.

James W. Foley

my internet speed seems to be picking up.... hmm.. thats good i think...

I made my sharing on Identity in Christ today... seemed like the respond was quite good... praise God...
But sometimes... i still wonder if I was ever even fit to give such a message.. my life is in such shambles..

sigh

*hugz dear*
miss you so much

One day, I'm going to give all my good friends a hug when they least expected it

I wan a surprise hug too! lolz

it feels warm to be so close to you

closer then ever...

let it burn....

My blog posts are losing creative titles...

1...
2....
3.....
4......
...
A few more days, and its going to be his birthday.... really wonder what I should get for him... pocket is kinda emptying inside out nowadays..

i'm becoming cynical...

funny that ms peters could tell me that i look more cheerful then ever, despite falling asleep at least once during 99% of her lectures...

why am I so tired?

why are people so tired?...

I'm not exectly as stress or cookoo over work like timothy, but why do i feel like i have a ton of lead over my shoulders?

grr...

sigh...

I can't break free of this holiday thingie i guess, which i feel the is same for timothy too.... both my brothers are having a good time, enjoying their holidays, and that should be the same for tim's siblings too...

this is so unfair... MOE is trying to split up families and disorientate all holiday schedules....

this is crazy..

i'm ranting...

sigh..

I'm going ta have to give a message on Sunday to my youth group... i really think that i'm not up to the task... i'm the least qualified to give such an important message...

why does Eric have to throw the organization of the very first battle our church is going to have to michelle and me?

life is unfair...

Victor has just came home... urgh...
That means Nicholas will transform 180 degrees from one self to a bootlicking other...

disgusting... (repeated for the 3rd time)



so many activities are being held... i can't participate in them...
so many movies are coming out... i can't watch them...
so many friends are staying over... i can't join them...

DOES'NT MOE HAVE ANY EYES IN THE FIRST PLACE??

grrah.... they think they're so smart by trying to shift all the holidays, such that when we guys come out of poly, the first thing that greet our faces will be NS...

whats wrong with the old scheme huh?

MOE : oHh.. so that when the guys come out of poly, they won't waste their time away

waste time my foot lah. you call getting job experience a WASTE of time?

gnnahh...


i'm pissed.

anybody can tell i'm pissed...


sigh
sigh sigh
sigh sigh sigh


i bet they're going to throw a million lawsuits on defametary on me. fine. whatever, i dont have the will to live anywayz..

live is starting to become so dreary and gray...

i better cheer up.

i have somebody who painted a rainbow in my rain
who pushed open the clouds and cut out enough blue to make a sailor a pair of jeans
who made life jus seem so much more bearable...

thanks dear... miss you so much...

miss your hugs, miss your smiles....

*hugz*
when my rainbow ended, i found you on the other side =)

I've been alone, without a heart for too long....

Loneliness exists even in company...

I miss you,

I really do......

Singapore Polytechnic is becoming a home to super stars

haha =)

My class rocks =)

My class rocks =D

haha... ultra talented, super united, crazy class....

we won 3 out of the 5 places in talentime... wahaha...

To be precise, Sabby, James and Sharina!! yaaay... *clap clap clap clap*


=D


I love my class... haha

Actually, I love the DMC peepz... We're actually a culture transforming group of people actually.. haha... we're so tightly bound together...
Like today... when James, Timothy and Ryan was performing, the entire lecture hall suddenly rose from their seats and ran out to support them...
Even Ms Peter was impressed =D

haha... the lecturers are cool too...


if you'd ask me to list the people that matter most in my life, it would be :

1) God
2) Dom
3) Friends

wonder?

i'm starting to blog less and less as the workload starts to increase.... soon I won't be able to blog everyday already..


Love ya dear...
miss you lots and lots....
hope you're thinking the same thing too...

this is week 4

next wek is week 5.

there is so much work to do...


thanks XiaoWei, Jawei and Smiles, whoever you are, for encouraging me... i guess, there isn't any problem now liaw... i think...

i'm hungry...

i think i shall go and eat.

Excrutiation...

something is blocking.... me...

or is it?... wierd?

something is wrong... I just know it...

or is it?... me?...


I think too much, that I know... but I have foreseen and avoided many unsavoury encounters because of this...

what's going on?

it's as though... God himself had a hand in this...


I love him.... I know I do....
the feeling can be so mixed at times...

is the fire burning out?.... already?.......

.. i could actually break a record with this...

maybe he's tired...


think i shouldn't think too much...
he didnt reply my message either...


there is so much stuff to do... so much work.... and I just don't feel like doing anything.... I jus wanna cry...
but tears won't come out...

its as though..... i'm used to it...








i'm used to it....







do I love him? yes. I do.
Do I know what is love? I think I do.
Does he love me? yes. I.. think he does....

then what am I saying.....

I'm confusing myself..




is it true that two guys can never be together for long?
I do not know... but so far, my experience has confirmed this statement...




i think i'm going to die...



if you will, stretch out your hand and save me...
if you will not, turn your head and never look back...

oh yeah.... Ms Kwa created a blog, and within days, almost the entire DMC cohort knows about it...
ha. shows how many people are actually trying to find Ms Kwa's blog....

Too bad its not the real wan...


he brought me to marche to eat today....

=X

so expensive....

but the food was nice =)

learnt alot more stuff about him too...

accompanied him back home after that coz his mum wanted him to be back earlier...

actually this is the first time i have ever sent any of my bfs back home...

felt quite nice still..


i'm blogging in wierd sentence structure because i'm tired and sleepy.

i shall go to sleep


goodnight world


*hugz loves*
when the world stopped spinning, it seemed like only me and you were left....

M2M - Pretty Boy

I lie awake at night
See things in black and white
I've only got you inside my mind
You know you have made me blind

I lie awake and pray
That you will look my way
I have all this longing in my heart
I knew it right from the start


Oh my pretty pretty boy
I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you


I used to write your name
And put it in my frame
And sometimes I think I hear you call
Right from my bedroom wall

You stay a little while
And touch me with your smile
And what can I say to make you mine
To reach out for you in time


Oh my pretty pretty boy
I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay right beside you

Bridge -
Oh pretty boy, pretty boy, pretty boy
Say you love me too


Oh my pretty pretty boy
I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay, ooo right beside you.

Don't blame me...

I've just learnt how to fly

Blogging is not as what Ms Peter told us

Back from my youth camp... it was a nice experience...
but anybody would be able to know be tell that it was coordinated very confusingly... haha...

anywayz... had quite a pleasent time over there...
especially with the cookout and the ASH being the self-proclaimed Ramly burger franchise...

the synthesizer was especially heavy...

=X

but nothing a guy can't carry rite? hahaha...


many people have a perception that I am a timid, weak and innocent little boy...
well, in many aspects, I certainly am...

but I know that deep inside, I'm quite a complicated person...

for those people that offended me in secondary school... haha.. you should know what happened when I get rough...
*hint.. I KNOW how to wack a person into a comatose state*

I hate cockroaches and basically almost all insects (That includes butterflies as well for those who can imagine that I would like those irriating stuff)...
Sometimes, I like to act timid and give the people around me a good laugh.. but frankly, I could squish a bug as easily as I can play Flee Fly Flo on the piano... I remembered I threw out of the window a 5 cm long cicada in a hostel malaysia because it was getting irriatingly noisy at night...

I hate insects, and most of the time, if they get pesky, I will eliminate them...

=P

sigh... what does it take to be a stereotypical guy? I kinda hate the image of being one anywayz... thats why sometimes I prefer to do the alternative stuffs....
you could call it following my heart...

I'll call it - I do what I feel like doing...


Miss him so much...

its been awhile since I saw him... I miss him terribly... but I know that I MUST not develop a need to see him everyday...
i'll... only cause him more trouble...

though i know he misses me alot too rite dear?

haha..

*hugz*

I love ya more then you love me.. =P

lets go eat lots and lots of Ben and Jerry's ice-cream and get fat k? haha...

***

oh yah...

Ms Peter actually said on... friday.. i think.. that a person defined Blogging as a tool with a degree of "Voyeurism and Exibitionism"...
in some aspect it is, but I really dislike the termalogy that that person used....

Voyeurism -
According to the wikipedia dictionary, most encyclopedias and english guides define the words "Voyeurism" as : A practice in which an individual derives sexual pleasure from observing other people. Such people may be engaged in sexual acts, or be nude or in underwear, or dressed in whatever other way the "voyeur" finds appealing.
well, unless you reading some sicko pervert's blog, who likes to post himself in his birthday suit daily, i think we should restrict this meaning to its intended form...

Well, using what that person said, people who like to read blogs may, to a certain extent "voyeur"... but what do you call a person who is reading another person blog's exectly? He/She is reading, with unwritten permission by the author to understand and relate to what is happening in the author's life.
As such, they can offer encouraging statements or opinions on whatever the author is going through or expressing...

Some bloggers do not even post their own lives, such as news-blogs, or blogs dedicated to the advancement of arts...
My friend started a blog to write beautiful poems, haikus and songs that he had in his mind.... how could one fall under the categary of exibitionist? If he does, then I guess everybody does so... the auntie who offers incense, the police who is issueing a fine, the director who is giving orders...

Exhibitionist -
as defined by princeton web dictionary, there are 2 definitions:

- someone with a compulsive desire to expose the genitals - someone who deliberately behaves in such a way as to attract attention
as defined by wikipedia:
- An exhibitionist is a person who practises exhibitionism as a psychological alteration of the human behaviour that neither implies the need to exhibit the genitalia or buttocks nor alterations of the psychiatric condition of the individual

I would like to say to believe that, as a blogger, I do not have any wish or such to exhibit my genitalia or buttocks, and I am perfectly tightly screwed in my brain, thank you..

and that statement, would be what most of the blogging community would agree on as well..

we write our lives down, our opinoins down, our minds down, to share with people what is going on in our lives, with more advantages then just a few, it is far more edifying then writing it and sealing it in a diary... where no one will ever know who are you...

people whom you lost contact with over the years, can read a few entries of your blog and know what is happening in your life recently..
rumours that has been circulating around you can be substantiated and quelled by a few blog entries...
globe-wide sympathy can be rouse by a few touching lines posted on a blogger's blog...


no, the blogging community are not a community of voyeurs and exibitionists..... we ARE, a dignified community with similar mentalities as you and I.

Thanks Ms Peter for sharing with us whatever that person said during the International Blogging Convention... we realized some truths today -

That person is definately a sex-monger (substantiated), or a very, severely (but sadly) disturbed person....

The Internal Securities Act or ISA acts on stupid imbeciles who do not control their language, mannarism or individuals with disgustingly low EQ...
[Author's Note : Hi! ISA, if you are reading this, keep up the good work in the continual restriction of languages that disturb the peace]

We, the blogging community, (mostly) on the other hand are a well-mannered lot, with suggestable opinions that may enlighten the community on certain aspects that we have on our minds...

Dont be discouraged DMC bloggers on hearing such statements as that on friday, be proud to share what miracles God has given you in your life....

Everday is a miracle, dont waste it - share it =)

***

i dont wanna close my eyes... i'm so scared this is just a dream... Love, can take you to the highest heavens, but when you fall, its a long way down...

*hold me close... dont let me go... ever...

This Entry Is Posted In School, in which I mean Singapore Polytechnic... See, I'm writing such stuff, shows how bored I am.... like this title...see?

wahaha.... i feel quite darn proud suddenly...

a web survey by yourhtmlsource.com said that 80% of the world wide web has an advertisement, banner, pop up or all-three on the website....

=)

Thanks to May, I have found a cool looking new tag-board... Aptly named, FlashBox... pretty cool, sleek looking and of coz (and most importantly) fast...

If you wish to tag on my website, and not cause the browser to refresh, use the Flashbox =)

If you wonder why am I blogging during the day, its because I'm having my break now and waiting to go to lecture....

Just taught James how to insert a tag-board into his blog, and now... wualala, he has a tag-board on his blog too! haha..... finally...

having a sore throat now...
so scared that I might have passed it on to him...

*hugz*

miss him so much...

walked to T1A with him jus now coz he has GEMS class.... he wanted to skip class to accompany me till my lecture starts...
bleah... dont do that ok dar?

studying will always have to be first priority...

love you...


apparantly, it seems like the DMC year 1s are also on a blog hunt to find Ms Kwa's blog...
good luck to them finding it...

i've almost given up all hopes of finding it...

I actually found a live-journal whose owner was called "Lay Ping", and had a nickname called "Pingster" as well, whose location was in Singapore...
what are the odds of that...

BUT, Cheryl came and told me that such stuff couldn be found so easy, and I was thus, enlightened...
Ms Kwa's location would be(should be) somewhere in Timbuktoo or St.Rhodes island....
and her name would be some wierd name like Baboon
or maybe Sweet Parrot

Her age would be... 65

AND, she would have live in an attap house almost all her life...

welll, happy finding DMC 1B-04!

haha...







*hugz*
I jus wanna be with you....

now that you're near...

Everything's different

HuGgLEs!

I LOVE YOU MORE THEN YOU LOVE ME!!

hahahahaha....

=P

*runs away and hide*


frankly, in a relationship, unlike what most people say where one loves the other more, that is not a sign of mutual love anyhow...
when both persons vie for the love of each other, it may be shown through different ways, it may be expressed in different forms...

but the bottom line is that we remain true to each other *wink*

haha...


LoLz... was in the media and production suite today... poor boo boo couldnt find his way to blk T4... haha... oops... i think I was in the wrong, coz I told him T4, but the media production centre was at T4A...

which of coz, being the stranger to blk T1-10, did not know...

=p


he almost made me cry today.... kinda scared me when he said some stuff.... heez.. but i still realized that he loved me just as much still..









I'm crazy =)


Very crazy...

I havn't ever been so happy since I started poly...

weee.. he's birthday coming soon.. wonder what I should get him =P



*huggles huggles huggles* heez..

**Today's News**

You wonder about people who are two sided and kick you in the back... not when you least expected it, but when you expected it...

My younger brother is a crowning example of one..

When my elder brother is not around, he'd do everything I ask him to do, to the extent of being proactive which is not one of his characteristics....

When he comes back home, he suddenly throws himself to him and grovels at his feet.... as though he is some sort of living god or something.... and suddenly has a 180 degree transformation in attitude towards me, retorting, sniding... you name it...

disgusting... he disgusts me...


anywayz....

SONIA!!!

SHARINA!!!

WE WON!!!! =D

SB DEBATES TEAM IS ENTERING THE SEMI FINALS!!!

yaay... so happy... Lydia is one hell of a powerful debater.... she can be so demure on oen side, yet summon phrases with such vengence it would make any opposition feel insecure...

before that, we had our class grouping...

nothing much to say about that... or more like don't wish to bring it up again...

Like wad JiaHui said on her blog "I would like to believe that the world is happy and fine" or something to that extent....

People will have to compromise and accomodate rite?

sometimes, things don't go our way... but if we make the best out of it, we'll turn out even better then people who have things who go their way all the time....

=)

thats the best encouraging statement I can give...

+ + + (translate : plus! pLuS! PLUS!)

no matter what, if you have any problems can come to me k? I'll help you.. I promise =)

(thats if I have the calibre to help though)

that goes for the rest of the groups... as well...

excluding james... hahaha

[authors note : if you wonder why i exclude james, its because he was being such a prick by being so insistant on the random grouping stuff... which caused some awkwardness...]

haha... no lah... we all love you James... rite?

you'll always be the lamest joker in class...

my class is the sweetest best class ever... wherever will you ever get a class that will compromise for 1 hour + jus to come up with a decision that will satisfy everybody?

oh yah! I'm working with flora too! YaaY!! haha... I'm sure we'll work well together...

welcome to the team!

(to the rest of the team.. haha.. you know why I dont say that to you all)

weelll.. alls well that ends well, we'll live happily ever after =)

-----

today didnt meet him.. miss him so much.....

but he's working so i better not bother him so much...

i feel like i'm becoming such a trouble and nuisiance... sorry dar...

i just miss you so much...

=) this is the wallpaper I designed for my desktop... I kinda like it..... reflects what I am also..... 

Boo~~!!

i think it was only 2 hours... or maybe hour...

but it felt like 15 mins or less only.... being close to him brought me a whirl of emotions that was dormant in me for quite some time....
once again, I felt like I was me again...

instead of running away to the self that I was not all along...


i think i'm giving him the impression that i'm super desperate or something... hahahah....

i'm NOT ok!! I just love him... *grins*


I think we should have watched "Just Like Heaven" instead of the Exorcism of Emily Rose... its so anticlimax-tic... I still was like hugging him for most of the show...
but he kept burying his head in my shoulder... LoL... i think he's more scared then i am... xP

haha...

he's just so cute...


I'm feeling kinda lightheaded now... Walked the whole of orchard again just to find some stuff with my friends.... Feeling damm tired now...


I think I'll go feed my Kingdom of Loathing character some Bat Wing Chow Mien first before I knock off to bed...

... he didnt answer my call.. guess he's sound asleep already...

wont be able to meet him tmr also as he has work in the evening.....

hmm...

but shouldnt make it a habit to meet everyday bah.... it's quite taxing on both parties...

its just enough to know that we're true to each other =)


Lov' ya dar...
lots and lots and lots of *hugglez* =D

Hold me forever......

Never let me go again...

How You Life Your Life

You have a good sense of self control and hate to show weakness. You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations. You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences. Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

indescribable day

i cant really put today into words... except that it was extraordinary...

i thought this day would never come...
i think i gave up...

but well, fate proved me wrong again..........

i dont wanna pinch myself... I'm so afraid that I might be dreaming....


haha


today will be a day I flipped the page of my life once more, and on a new chapter, write another story...
how long will it be, I do not know...

.. and I dont wanna know....

thinking of it can just hurt so much....


I just wanna be in his arms again...
A few steps away from the mrt, I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness...

my paced shortened and my heart raced....

is this for real??

my handphone beeped jus in time before i when into my psycho self again... it was him! =)

haha... I'm obsessed...


joking


i really do love him...

his fuzzy hair, his cheekily irritating smile, his forever smiling eyes, his .... his warm hugs...

he's open, but conservative to a cute extent too...
haha...

=)

Still havn't change much... lol..... jus got to know you better.....


i miss you...



one chapter closes, another opens... I dont want this to have an end...

Somebody save me... i deserve to be kicked out of media and communication....

Your English Skills:

Spelling: 80%

Grammar: 60%

Punctuation: 40%

Vocabulary: 40%

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

Yaay.. new hard drive =D

KEYPAD JAM!! =p

haha.. just before I wrote this entry, for some reason, my "enter" key was jammed, and suddenly hundreds of drafts were keyed into my blogger system...

and wualla... now I have 400+ posts... of which 50+ of them are a mistake from an enter key.... I'm too lazy to delete them anywayz... so I shall change my keyboard...


haha...

I'm the proud new owner of a brand new 80gb Toshiba External Hard Disk Drive... at a low low cost of 100+, its sure something to be proud of....

lol... *beat timothy again!* haha
timo got his 40gb drive at $99

sad thing is, its relatively big and heavy...... sianz... haha

but who cares! not like i'm going to bring it around forever or somthing like dat...



my youth group is going to do street evangelism in a fortnight or two from now... and mich and I are in charge of leading the youth into battle on the streets...
I've no idea what to do or where to start, or am I even fit enough to lead the youth...

sigh

my faith has been really shaken recently.... with all those non-spiritual-total-intellectual debates...
I wonder actually where I'm heading too...

I've no motivation to study
I've no motivation to work...

Its like I've became a complete anti-self...

Could it be my alter-ego taking over?




I havn't seen him for so long.... Going to see him again tomorrow... wonder, will he still see the same me? or have I changed so much in such a time?

My heart feels warmer...
Yet my soul feels colder...

I'm trapped in a maelstrom of what should be and what shouldnt be....

I know that I love him...


He didnt reject this time... in fact, he took the first step.....
I believe....... that its possible...

I've never doubted him once...
But why do I have such great fear?

I fear.. that one day it will end.... as so many has came to past..... and another chapter will close painfully... sealing my heart once again...

Will this love take flight?....


I never want it to end....




please.. stay with me till the end?...........

I miss you.....

of conformity and people...

conformity to the world?
what is conformity to the world when people conform to the word conform?

is conformity to the world being different?
doesnt that contradict each other?

is conformity to the world being something that the world hates?
doesnt that seem to point at alot of things that are so called 'conformists'?

the problem is that moral issues are based so much on a personal point of view nowadays that many people lose the origin of morality....
morality was created to prevent chaos....

why can't a guy like another guy?
(i think i've asked this statement like a million times on my blog)
the sad part is...
we are hated by the world
we are hated by people
we are shunned by the community
we are shunned by religion....

what have we done wrong? but to love another person?

they hate us....
we love them back

they excommunicate us....
we try and talk to them...

what is wrong here.. or should I put it in more clear context... WHO is wrong?

For all those people that hate or dislike homosexuals... look into yourself - a hetrosexual... are you able to tell yourself with a clear conscience that we are the bad people around here?

sigh... this could go on into an endless debate...

i'm quite sick of people trying to give groundless basis on why it is wrong and why it is not the way is meant to be...

like a quote from Russell Peters :
"Hey! I've nothing against gays! In fact, we could use a few back in where i came from! (India)"

what sin has a homosexual committed except reduce the world population.. by a small fraction?

it would do the world a WORLD of good...



bleah..



*hugz* know you are at work and cant get to see this, but dont stress yourself out too much wor...



Kingdom of Loathing is a pretty fun game, witty in fact... I mean the words....
A first timer who plays that game would probably find himself laughing throughout the 40 movement points allocated to him in the game...



I wonder.. does my church leadership know that I'm AJ? or are they just keeping silent about it... its not a silent fact that I am... and most of the youths already know...
Or is it because I'm the only keyboardist currently available?

if its so... i'd be so mad...

but anywayz, faith is more important then whatever humans can say...

if they are going to penalize me for being an AJ, i'll probably move to SafeHaven.. already contemplating anywayz... nearer my house some more...

Talking about the youth....
Dont think i'm getting any closer to them these recent months...... Even Haryanto and Simon are particularly quiet and doing nothing much nowadays...
Simon knows that the ASH is starting to get scattered, and he is trying his best to keep it together... I am too, but somehow....... really, we have nothing much to talk about...

Haryanto and Simon can always talk about their favourite thing consistantly - soccer with a fervent and intense interest.. while I'd glaze on mildly and daydream about my very excellent timetable...
Haryanto is so monotonous towards me nowadays it really makes me wonder if I'm have done something wrong...


anywayz.... I feel that... something terribly wrong is going on in the church.. I can feel it...
social.. economic... spiritual... everything seem to be falling apart......


hope paster does something...



bleah...

2 blogs that I've always been faithfully reading are getting so inactive...
Jason's blog and May's blog..
wish they could update soon =P


life has been kind, still...
across the world.... christians are awakening, and realizing that the hour is at hand.... the gospel is spreading faster and further then ever... and the spiritual battle is intensifying...

soon, Satan will reveal his most terrible weapon...
as the Saints, we must be prepared for his coming...

and we must await His coming....




for now... all I want to do is to lie close to his chest and.. so close enough to hear his soft heart beat...
as the ocean rises and fall...
the sound of the crashing waves...

his hand in mine...

Bad Modems + Good Stuff

ARRGH!!! I'M SO MAD!!

I just found an ultra rare item in maple story, only to have my internet connection speed lag for a second (darn peak hours) and next thing I knew, I was dead and had to restart my journey back from the nearest hometown...
And when I got back, the item was taken away by a stupid newbie mage that was trailing me!!

GRRAHH!H!!! I really wanna wack up my modem for causing me so much problems..

not only in this, but in many other stuff recently....

shitty man. Starhub sucks. - terribly slow, a modem that is supposed to have an a speed of up to 2mbps (that is 2000kbps), is now getting slower and slower, to the point of being nothing more of a dial up connection of 56kbps....
btw, 56kbps, is what you get when you type in www.sp.edu.sg in your browser and you have to wait 20 seconds to have it load properly.......

grrr....

stupid starhub cause so much problem... I'm sure its a marketing scheme to make people frustrated and change their plan to the new 100mbps plan... with exhorbitant prices...
just because they seem to have a monopoly over most of the internet system in Singapore...

arrrgh! Damm piss!!

grwaaah... I dont feel like touching maplestory already... maybe i'll play other games..


Anywayz, away from the rantings, the second week of school has is over, a VERY busy second week...
but!! haha...
cheer up Andrew, good news record coming up...

1) [And Most Importantly/Excitingly/Happily/etc.]
MY DMA TEAM HAS BEEN SELECTED TO PRESENT TO OUR EXTERNAL CLIENT!!!
wahahah!! All our efforts didnt go to waste after all... our sleepless nights and moody days amounted up to a resounding sucess!!!
Three cheers for Timothy!
Three cheers for Jiawei!
Three cheers for Sarah!
Three cheers for Sharina!
Three cheers for Ryan!
Three cheers for me!!!
and five stars for everybody!! =D

so happy so happy =)

2) Made pretty good friends with Cheryl and Grace, before the rush of the Attitude Newsletter, we hardly knew each other... but the spirit of urgency and comarady kept us together and we begin to know each other much much better... character, personality and all =)

so glad to know this two super super nice people.. not to mention HARDWORKING!!

3) I think Jason and I are quite good friends now =) Despite our misunderstanding and miscommunications, I'm so happy that we're on good terms now... talking about bleach and laptops to anything under the sun... .wahaha

4) LIVEWIRE premiered on monday, and a section of the show contained my team's video... though I'm quite disppointed that they censored/cut/erased/murdered some part of the show, it still was quite ok....
The music that they chose was quite pathatic, compared to the one that we used that really evoked emotion and tears... (hint : Music is the key)
AND, they randomly gave positions and titles to everybody in my team.... it was quite hilarious actually.... but I hope it didnt hurt anybody's feelings....
Three cheers to my LIVEWIRE team!!
Three cheers for Marcus!
Three cheers for Tracy!
Three cheers for Zhi Yang!
Three cheers for Joshua!
Three cheers for me!
haha... and everybody else who contributed in anyway, big or small to the creation of this short film...
(special thanks to : Charlene [angsty gal], Simon's papa [angsty father], Auntie Poh Chee [runaway wife] and her very lovely daughter [sad gal])

5) Had a long long talk with ZY on mondy, with Timothy... talked on alot of heartfelt issues and life... was really very nice talking to him and telling him the turmoil going on in my life.... That conversation kinda woke me up to some things too though...

6) Talked on the phone for quite a long time with this... really cool and nice guy....

7) He sms-es me neat messages =)

8) JiaHui, Sarah and me think that Andrew [DMC yr1] is a guy (AJ) magnet.

ok, why do i think that Andrew is cute.. its because firstly, he is SUCH a soft spoken guy... I mean, even though I do not know him that well, from what I have seen so far, he is like super super quiet...
Come to think of it, he DOES have to have some standard after all, coz JiaHui is one of the last (repeat : LAST) gals that I would ever think of that would wanna go into a relationship....
[wahaha.... no offense JiaHui, i meant it as a compliment]
moreoever, he looks like the type of person that couldn offend anybody but yet have that cute boyish typa look in him...


9) Mr. Andrew Ang's lectures are corny and nice... I've yet to have fallen asleep in one of his lectures.. haha.. i'm going to give him 5/5 for everything....

10) I had a nice R&R on wednesday.... allowed me to de-stress and flush out some unwanted deadlines from my system =)



yup, these are 10 things that are really nice things that happened to me.

my life is nice, albeit stressful...

someone still owes me a hug
i think he's cool AND good looking =D


Now for one of those things that I like to do, and so does sonia! i think, cos she has many of these on her blog...

Message:

01.Your nickname: Axton, Kyo, Donkey.... etc

02. Hobbies: lotsa... playing computer games, swimming, gymming...

03. Gender: male - duh?

04. School : School of Stress

05. Height: 173

06. Horoscope: Taurus

08. Address: Smack in the centre of the AJ clubbing district... Tanjong Pagar

09. Email: too many to count

10. Hair: [currently] long and untidy... need a cut soon

11. Eye Colour: cinammon

12. Hair colour: ash brown

13. Right or left handed: ambidextrous - haha.. jk.. i'm right handed like 3/4 of the normal kids

14. Status: singularly attached

15. Siblings:2 very VERY annoying brothers

16. Last 4 digit of your mobile no: 1757 - i think i'm going to change it to, so this is not a reliable source

17. When's your Birthday: 2 May 1987.. remember to buy my prezzies!
====================
* HAVE YOU.. *

21. Tried smoking: NO!! NEVER. smoking is one of the most disgusting habits ever.. it like sucking a car exhaust system... sick. totally..

22. Drink alcohol: hate em, but kinda fun to become tipsy once in awhile...

23. Been hurt emotionally: too many times to count...

24. Kept a secret from anyone: depends on the situation

25. Been on stage: plenty of time... but still suffer from frozen toes (aka cold feet)
=====================
* FAVORITES.. *
26. Colour: Orange/Black/White/Yellow/Aquamarine

27. Food: spicy + super strange looking food...

29. Number: 7 and 14

30. Cartoons : Dexter's Laboratary, Pokemon, Digimon, Tom and Jerry

32. Song right now: Guang Liang - After a Thousand Years

33. Movie: dunno.. but I'm looking out for "Just Like Heaven"

34. Subject: Web Publishing
===================
* RIGHT NOW.. *
36. Wearing: shorts and a sports t-shirt

37. Hairstyle: messy and super wavvy

38. Looking at: the monitor?! duh....

39. Thinking of : somebody who owes me a hug

40. Listening to: Josh Groban - The Prayer
=====================
* DO YOU BELIEVE IN.. *
41. Love: Yes, above all.. I believe in Love...

42. Faith: Lol... Faith is the driving force of mystery, of coz!

43. Yourself: kinda fluctuates, but nowadays, gaining confidence

44. Ghosts: yipes.. dun wanna talk about them

45. Angels: Definately, I belive that there are thousands and millions of them everywhere...
=====================
* IN THE LAST 24HOURS.. *
46. Worn jeans: yup

47. Cleaned your room: yuppoz

48. Dropped your tears: nopez, been pretty happy.... but felt kinda emo when I was listeneing to the josh groban album though.. he has such a nice voice..

49. Met Someone New: new? so many new people... haah

50. Last Person I Talk To On The Phone: Ridtz
===================
* LOVE LIFE.. *

51. Do You Believe in Love: ......

52. Have A Secret Admirer: dunno?.. haha.... *winks at that someone*

53. Do You Wanna Get Married: sounds wierd.. but maybe?...

55. How Old You Wanna get married?: maybe when I'm like 27 or 28

56. When You Have Your Kids?: knowing my personality, I'd wan to be stable before going on to the next level...

57. How Many Kids Do You Want: 2 boys - or - 1 girl 1 boy

58. Would You Have Kids Before Marriage: HAHA!! NEVER!!! WAHAHAAHA.... that was a hilarious thought

59. Do You Have a Crush: lol *grins*

60. In a Relationship: hahaha... ask me?
======================
* THIS OR THAT.. *
61. Pink or Black: black

62. Kiss or Hugs: both? =)

63. Summer or Winter: yucks.. hate both.. i like spring!

64. Sunny or Rainy: yucks.. hate both... I like cloudy and windy!

65. Chocolate or Vanilla : chocolate chip?

66. Hanging Out or Chillin: hanging out...

67. Music or TV: music - definately

68. Hamburger or Pizza: Depends on what type

69. Smile or Laughing: smile.. somehow i have a phobia of laughing too much since i got my braces...

70. Sleeping or Eating: eating! haha... i dont really like sleeping anywayz

71. McDonalds or KFC: Mac, but sometimes KFC is nice too

72. Silver or Gold: Gold for NAPFA and silver for accessory

73. Sunset or Sunrise: both... the magic hour IS magic

74. On phone or In person: IN person lah! On phone is sooo impersonal...

75. Diamonds or Pearls: yiks... dislike both.. but if i had a choice, i would choose diamonds...

76. Adidas or Puma: ADIDAS!! most definately..

77. Band members/Models: haha... so many... 5566/Energy/Simple Plan/Hillsongs etc..

78. Local or International Artist: Local : Lin Jun Jie , International : Too many to count..

79. Sneakers or Boots: Sneakers =D I always where my trusty sneakers =)

80. Jack daniels or Chivas Regal: YUCKS YUCK YUCKS - hate both

81. Dunhill or Marlboro: *ULTRA YUCKS* DISGUSTING SMOKES

82. Clubbing or Live music: Live bands are nice =)

83. Johnny depp or Josh Hartnett: JOSH HARNETT!! AHH!! HE's SOO CUTE!!

84. Angelina Jolie or Kate Hudson: Angelina Jolie =)

85. Colossal/epic or Romantic comedy: BOth.. eh.. a romantic comedy set in a colossal epic? haha

86. Sexy/Naughty or Kind/Plain: Naughty + Plain? lol.. dunno...

87. BMW or Mercedes: BMW

88. Incubus or Maroon 5: dunno...

90. Long haired or Bald: hmm... anything but bald... bald is ewwww...

91. Pop or Rock: Pop/ Ballads

92. Beach or Mountain: BEACH!!

93. Pepsi or Coke light: Hate Coke Light - thus, Pepsi

94. DVD or cinema: If i had the money - cinema =P

95. Nokia or Ericsson: ERICSSON!!! =D

96.311 or Hoobastank: hardly listen to em....

97. Asia or America: Asia.. lol.. there are lotsa cute guys in america, but they're kinda outta reach =P

98. Tattoo or Piercing: Disgusting.. i'm aiming for a perfect bod, not a bod with stuff scribbled on it... utter grossness

99. American Idol or Canadian Idol: American Idol!! haha... clay aiken rocks =)

100. Asking/answering: more of answering bah.. haha =P

random thoughts...

Ha. I'm busy, very busy... people wonder why I got time to blog still... lol

People wonder why I have time to play maplestory...

People wonder why I have so much time to take up so many commitments...


well, let them wonder... haha

=D

... i always deliver what I said I would... maybe not being so punctual at it... wahaha
I'm actually quite a last minute worker, I find, and pretty good at it...

Not the best *grins* but still good enough..


when a relationship dissolves, what happens to either party?
emotionless?...
i think i would've cried till my pillow was soaked again...

dissolves.... it reminds me... so much of the past....
not break, mind you.. dissolve...

anywayz...
to that person... haha... you owe me a hug, I owe you one too.... *hugz*
lol...
Maybe its not that bad that this happen rite? If he was never yours in the beginning, he was never yours...
Dont hold on to a shattered glass that never conatained liquid... it'll cut you deep... real deep...

let go, and let it fall.... being one never meant being two.

find your way, i'll take you there i have to....




what should I do tomorrow? I've been given Leave of Absence by Mr. Rajan to do the editing of the Attitude magazine.... And I have a lecture and tutorial tomorrow on customer relationship management... which one should I go?

my hamsters which gave birth to 8 babies 2 weeks ago has officially munched up all her offspring.... yucks...
why?
1) My younger bro when to prod the mother on the first week (Result : 4 disappeared)
2) Today, my younger bro actually touched the baby and dropped them back in the cage
(Result : 4 disappeared)

sigh.. at least dont have more babies to worry about now....


I've got my stitches removed from that operation I kenna last week.. it looks terribly icky now... but icky in a cool way.. how many people actually has a real scar? moreoever, it doesnt look THAT terrible...

I miss somebody.

He owes me a hug =)

Eternal Perspective

Didnt go to school today...
Kinda surprised myself as this is one of the first few times I just sat on my bed (.. i woke on time - mind you) and just didnt feel like doing anything...

I just felt like the world was coming to an end...

... hmm.. what AM I saying?.... the world IS coming to an end...

The Eternal Perspective...

Have you ever wondered what on earth are you living for?
What would any of your accomplishments mean a thousand years from now?
The sands of time spares no men...

History was created to preserve time. but there is so much it can do...
Out of the billions of billions of people, how many will actually be remembered?

Bottom line is. What we do now, would not really matter in the future, would it?

Temporary pleasures, yes. But whatever for?
Everything is but a fleeting vision...

sigh.. anywayz, will still be going to school tomorrow....

Lotsa stuff to do... I'm starting to feel the crash already...


Frankly, as much passion as I have for certain of the stuff, I cant possibly be working on every single one at a time.. what am I thinking?....

blub. blub. blub.

so much things to do, so much stuff to buy. so little time, so little money.
not to mention the amount of money I owe ryan... lol

sorry ryan for making you wait so long... you'll have to hang in there a bit longer, my next batch of pocket moolah wont come in till 10 Nov.


my house is so messy now. undergoing renovations. MAJOR renovations... drilling here, drilling there.... You would think that they are trying to enlarge the space of the house by caving in the walls...

I dunno why my computer cant read .avi files.... something is wrong, even after I downloaded all the codecs and platforms.... It'll just be sound and a black screen... anybody can help? =)

ILL TREATING HAMSTERS????? WTH

Arrgh... To you-know-who,

I NEVER ILL TREATED MY HAMSTERS!!!

I cant believe you actually listened to my moron of a brother and BELIVED what he said!!
I donno what the hell that describes of wat you can think...

Anywayz, I MEAN it when I say I wont talk to people...

7 Days.

When I confronted my brother, he said this. Hear ah...
Nicholas : "Wah lau, you can actually believe what she said ah!"
Me : "Of coz lah! She has no basis for suddenly saying that right?"
Nicholas : "Ok lor, believe believe lor! I never said anything wad..."

Me : (eminating rage and fury) "I let you play computer when I am not around, and you come and backstab-gossip about me???!!!"

- proceeded to change the central passwords and command keys
- and make this blog entry...

I can't believe ANYBODY on earth will believe what my brother says... bloody irritating bastard!! (not to mention, fat. and ugly.)

He is a thorn in my flash! A stone in my shoe!!

Talking about MISTREATING HAMSTERS.

I WAS THE ONE WHO KEPT SCOLDING HIM WHEN HE SQUEEZED THE HAMSTER SO TIGHTLY THAT THEY SCREAM

I WAS THE ONE WHO KEPT SCOLDING HIM WHEN HE TOSSES THE HAMSTERS IN THE AIR

I WAS THE ONE WHO KEPT SCOLDING HIM WHEN HE MADE THE HAMSTERS FIGHT WITH EACH OTHER

AND THAT IMBECILE CAN ACTUALLY COME AND SAY THAT I AM ILL-TREATING MY HAMSTERS??
bloody hell... If he weren't so darn fat and gargantuan, I would have severely decapitated him by now...


darn it....

Freaking pissed.

Julian Hee!!

ahh... he's so cute rite!!! Lol.. I love this pic! =D

Julian Hee IS CUTE!!! Wahaha... If there is ANY mediacorp actor I've ever been crazy about, its Julian!

This screenshot was taken some very long time ago.. forgot when liaw.. but found it on another person's website.. wahaha... he looks as cute as ever...

wee! haha.. =) He's really cute rite!!

ok.. i'm going quite crazy over him.... JULIAN JULIAN!!! wahaha... started watching this show on channel 8 called "The Rainbow Connection" all because he was starring in that show... =P

But its a wonder why they would name the show The Rainbow Connection... are they clueless that The Rainbow Connection was one of the GLBT slogans in the past?
Wahaha... I bet they'll freak out if they know....

Julian Hee is not gay, sorry to all the AJs out there..... lol... I wish he was though...

He is so much better looking then all the other guys....

JULIAN HEE ROCKS!!! =D

*wink*

The Debate

As I promised, this entry is dedicated to a nice friend of mine who won me in a friendly debate on Homosexuality and Christianity.

So, what is his stand?
- Homosexuality is wrong (basic premise)

So, what is my stand?
- Homosexuality cannot be stated as wrong, but nothing on being right (basic premise)

He suited all my criterias that I laid out to have a fair argument with me on homosexuality
1) He WAS an AJ before
2) He IS ready for an intellectual debate
3) He IS ready for a theological debate
4) He IS (or was, for that matter) polite

k. That being the ground sheet, I willingly entered the debate.

His 2nd premise : Relational Love (Eros) leads to Sex
"When 2 people love each other so deep, it will inevitably lead to sex"
~ This thus being applicable to AJs as well

My Counter : What is wrong with that?

His reasoning (or what is written in the bible) : It would defeat the purpose of God's command to "Go Forth and Multiply" - AJs relational sex does not do such, and thus, AJs break one of the earliest rules that God set for mankind.

My Reasoning : There are certain laws in the bible that is almost utterly inapplicable to the present. (i.e. slavery was reasonaby acceptable, we would not be able to wear clothing made of 2 different materiels etc.)
Thus, the laws in the bible, was supposed to be effective for that particular time only. - namely, the old testament
What is more important is the Law that Jesus made that summed up the law and the prophets : "Thou shalt love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind." the second is this " Love your neighbour as yourself"
~ there was no mention of anti-homosexual sentiments in the law that summarises the entire law of the prophets, thus, it is inapplicable.

His 3rd Premise : We break the law of "Go Forth and Mulitply"
~ We have to do that

My coutner : Imagine if you tell that as a Law in China. I think the government would most likely execute you for trying to wreck havoc in the country with an overbearing population already

His 4th premise : The Bible states that when God created Adam and Eve, He created Eve to fill the loneliness that Adam had. The loneliness for companionship. Thus, no matter what, there is always an emptiness when Eve isnt involved in Adam's life

My counter : So, is an AJ in a relationship feeling lonely?

His reply : Nope, of course they wont feel that way.

His counter : "Remember something the devil is the cheater to our feelings... he cheated the feelings of EVE to go eat the damn fruit la"

My reply : (I had no counter to it. because nobody has ever told me this before, after the hundreds of people I've counsulted) "..."

My counter : "So how do you change?"

His reply : "Pray and trust in God to be able to do it"

---- end of my reasonable self -------

I've asked God countless of times if it is correct or wrong.

Right? Wrong? - no answer.

(at this, i became erratic and started going quite crazy)


finally, I've used the final argument that always wins an argument on homosexuality vs christianity

- slavery was a permitted law in the Bible
- slavery is viewed as something that is against humanity and is thus, wrong
~ The people of today say that slavery is wrong

- homosexuality was somthing that went against the law in the Bible
- IF the society accepted homosexuality, it would be viewed as protecting humanity (human rights), and is thus ok.
~ The people of the future would have a changed attitude towards homosexuality

... I have never seen a counter for this argument...

yet. even though I might have won (or lost) the argument, according to me... it threw me into greater confusion...
(there was alot of things that went on)

... like i said, my reasoning was so empty........... i didnt gain anything.. i only threw myself into greated confusion...
its quite pointless..







Yoz dude, this is what went on yesterday, in debate format.
Hope you'll be able to look through it and tell me in a way that could state a wrong-ness in Homosexuality more clearly
=/



my very lost uncle is engaging in a debate with my father behind me on why he doenst belive that Christianity is the right way...
its sad that he has such a warped view on christianity...

poor guy...

he has no idea what he is in for...
For all has sinned, and fallen short of the Glory of God. - no one comes to the Father but through the Son.

One argument that he stated irritated me alot
- Jesus was God, and thus, it doesnt matter the amount of burden he could carry, as it was nothing to him. the pain, the torture. if He was God, wouldnt it be easy for him?

... that is so sad....

Jesus was born as a MORTAL - repeat - MORTAL
Characteristics of MORTAL, jus look at you and me.

He felt anger, he felt love, he felt compassion, he felt disgust.. he felt pain too!
He was so scared over what was going to happen to him, that he sweat drops of blood! (This condition is a known condition when a person goes through extreme anxiety and trauma)

He wept!

So tell me how could He not feel pain?...

HOW COULD HE NOT FEEL PAIN?
... sigh.. apparantly he did not do his research before engaging into verbal combat...

i'm wondering why my father isnt saying anything.... =(

I'm really bored!! * screams *
I cant live with so much stuff to do and yet being unable to help out in anyway...

I can't edit some of the important Attitude Magazine designs because I dont have a workable version of Photoshop CS Pro...

I can't imagine how on earth to train for the debates tournament coming up in a fortnight...

I can't keep playing Maplestory... I'll possible die of authism...

sigh...

anywayz... forget about my previous entry.. I wrote it when my conscious self wasn't paying attention to my subconscious self and thus cause such a wierd entry suddenly...

been letting my alter-ego take over me too much...

but seriously... i think everybody has an alter-ego that hammers them every now and then... some are stronger, some are weaker...

arrgh.. now i dont even feel like blogging.. this is bad....

i'm going to lie on my new bed and read a book......... its about time..

its hard to figure out why some people would hate some things.... 

society's stand on homosexuality

if there is anything... ANYTHING in common amongst us 3 brothers, it is playing computer games.... there is hardly anything else that can spark a decent conversation amongst us nowadays...
even so, the conversation will be riddled with sarcarsm and distasteful humour...

k. To all those that read my blog out there...

my personal stand on my sexuality is that I am currently in a very difficult situation. To choose between what I feel is right, and what is supposed to be right.

I am one hell of a confused individual. so if you peepz can jus stop judging me and accept me for who I am, I would be a much happier person.

why? you may ask...

i was questioned on MSN recently (not too long ago) on why I chose a different path, straying from the norm of life.

"its disgusting"
"thats wrong!"
"what the hell, faggots"
"all them faries"
"girly boys"

on my stand, AJs, or more preferably Gays who have made their stand on their sexuality, are actually far from what most people thing they are.
of coz, there are a wide variety of characteristics we display. very similar to the straight community as well.

1) I know of MANY AJs who can bash through the skull of a straight guy without batting an eyelid, and yet maintain feminine poise

2) I know of MANY AJs who are being taunted and shun in school, because they blogged that they had a secret crush on a guy in class

3) I know of MANY AJs who look, act and seem straighter then many straight guys that I know

4) I know of MANY AJs who have became high-flyers, succesful in their businesses and social life

5) I know of MANY AJs who are in a confused state... wondering why on earth God would censor a mutual love between 2 guys...

..... for the last one, I can vouch with physical proof, that the christians in Singapore are still not able to accept one of their brethen being gay...

its a painful fact... not for the churches, as sometimes, i feel that they do not half-understand anything going on in the minds of an AJ....

its a painful fact for the guys who loved another guy so deeply and strongly... yet.... because of some people who persercute and attack them... they let go of this... love that they held so strong..


sigh... enough of my rantings...


if you can see well enough, I am a pro GLBT activist, and I strongly believe that society will come to realize one day that we are not just surface people....










one thing. If you think you're going to convince me that being gay is wrong. you'll have to do a couple of things
1) You have to be a professional psychologist
2) You have to be prepared to be blasted with scientific fact, information and social politics
3) You have to be prepared to enter a religious debate if you are going to bring God into question
4) You have to be polite or I'll simply walk away and ignore you for the rest of your freaking short-sighted life
5) You have to know me quite well

I have done enough preparation to counter almost any argument people could throw against me... but to debate and argue is not what I want..


there is a hollow truth in all these.........

end of week 1.

week 1 has passed.
week 2 is coming.

eeepz... wonder if i should feel frightened or not.... workload is going to get heavy

* Andrew wacks a blue snail *

hmm.... just came back from a nice cell group meeting. everybody was nice. the people were nice, the guys were nice, the gals were nice. the muffins and cake were nice too

* stares blankly at a charging pig *
* casts magic claw *
* pig makes funny squealing sound before disappearing *

... ok... enough of maple story... I'm getting quite sick of it...


anywayz...

I'm starting to wonder if the United Nation's Convention for Human Rights Charter was actually drawn up for nothing....
I look into Google News today, and realized that there are so many people who are being persecuted, prosecuted and executed for being speakers of the truth (albeit in a more passionate point of view)...

what is the world coming too?

even Singapore is classified as one of the country with one of the least freedom of speech in the world (article by Today : Yesterday)
... WE ARE NEXT TO IRAQ IN RANK OF FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!

Iraq... IRAQ!! Are Singaporeans proud to be ranked beside one of the most chaotic, violent, semi-arnarchic country in the world?

...

shucks... better keep my mouth shut before I get shot by terrorists -_-

* vents his frustration on a green bouncing slime *


attitude newsletter is hitting on real hard on everyone... the editor, designer, writers... The deadline is rushing up in front of us and every one is still so disorganized...
I kinda pity Grace that she must take all the heat from the very disorganized, lasseize faire design team. *Andrew raises up his right hand*

Only Grace and Jasmine have been working hard consistantly throughout from concept to construct.

=X To make it up, I think I'll try to edit and design the rest of the required pages over the weekend...


school's major stress haven't started yet, so I'm trying to prepare for it by piling even MORE stress on myself; such that I wont feel so stress when stress comes.
stress.
I shall blog about more exciting stuff tmr. stuff about bhp people and boring lessons... wahaha

dont kill me Ms Kwa, I know you are reading this. Its nothing to do with you =P

oh yah, I've updated my blog links, and added quite a number of my friends to the links, do check out their blogs! =)

Dont meddle with me you stupid mushroom! =P I'll wack you!! Stop smiling at me!! =P 

Me when I'm playing maple story.... haha... I'm in the Ossyria Market now.... 

This is my desktop! I modified it till it looks alot like Windows Vista that is coming out soon! haha... quite cool rite =) told ya i dabbled in unneccesary stuff 

halfway while i wrote this entry, blogger crashed

hmm.. i think my study desk is a whole pile of organized mess...
can you believe i still have the notest taken from my last semester strewn over my table?

That goes to show how little I actually use that table.

Whatever for.. right? haha... when you have a "desktop" that does everything for you...

I realize that I am pretty much more proficient in using the computer then many people my age. however, the sad part is, I'm not proficient in the correct things...

(andrew tries to use "i.e." again to gives examples of stuff he does not know, but realizes that if he knows the stuff he does not know, he's most probably trying to do it or have already given up)

but, I still want to learn how to do C++ Progamming and use Discreet Fire and Smoke
Of course, it would be even better if i can learn how to do CSS, RSS and Javascript as well.
To top it off, I should try and learn how to professionally fix a computer from scratch instead of simply just following the guides.

ok.
so i wish to do many stuff.
haha!

Lets see, my google scratch pad is piling up with stuff that isnt done yet
- Interschool Varsity Debates
- SB Video
- MMORPG Research
- Attitude Newsletter
(oh dear.. talking about attitude newletter, i havnt sent poor Grace my copy of the design yet... she must be taking all the heat... =X)
- Adobe After Effects Training
- GodSPEL

all these are pretty major events, with the MMORPG research being my relaxing time. Isnt it good to have a project that you KNOW that you doing even when you are relaxing and having fun?

*Andrew wacks another orange capped mushroom*

(AHH!!! THIS IS MY SAVED DRAFT..... My entire post went missing... grr... blogger crashed on me!)

sigh....

ok.. to summarize it up, i wanted to

1) Describe my adventures with Calvin Kor and Nicky Didi today
2) Lament about how I didnt go to Sentosa and thus was rather melonchaly today
3) Give some uncouth comments about Nicholas and Victor staying out the whole day in Sentosa 4) Thank Ezekiel Didi for being such a loyal blog fan
5) Wack more mushrooms

yup.. thats about it....

grrah... i wrote so much...

hmm....

no point being angry about blogger crashing.. time to upload pictures!!

!@#$@$ Brothers

irritation knows no limits.

brothers are an irritance . therefore . brothers do not know their limits

Grr...... Recently, my brothers have been very ANTI- andrew... everytime i try to talk with them, they'll give some snide and sarcarstic remarks that hurts a darn lot, and after that, you wont feel like talking to them already - for the next few hours at least

i.e.

Andrew : " Hey! Your maple character is quite powerful eh! Can go fight evil eye liaw..."

Nicholas : " .. Because you stupid wad. Dunno how to come here and fight."

Victor : " Your character got too little manna already lah. Come here sure die wan."

(Note : "My" character is actually Nicholas' old character, since my account has been deleted for inactivity. And that character is of a much higher level then their characters. To top that off, I am THE experienced player of the game itself, shouldn they feel honoured that I'm gave good comments about their characters?)

Andrew : (*stomps of to the bedroom)



What the hell is wrong with them?.... kaoz.. I never even offend them lor! I have been in school the whole day and I ALLOWED them to use my computer to play games lor!
The same computer that has my ENTIRE portfolio of work lor!

CB!

(Nicholas pointed out very "nicely" to me that i shouldn scold KNNBCCB to them because i would be indirectly scolding myself-)

Its been a long time since I used vulgarities on my blog..
But this incidences are getting on my nerves.

I HAVE MY LIMITS OK!!

BLOODY HELL! I CAN DELETE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR BLOODY CHARACTERS OFF THE FREAKING SERVER AND YOU CAN GO PAY $2.50 AN HOUR IN A FREAKING LAN SHOP TO PLAY LAH!
... OR BUY YOUR OWN FREAKING COMPUTER!!!

another irritating incident yesterday :

Andrew : "wah. playing WWE cards ah.. so bored meh. Nothing else to do ah."

Victor : " Of coz lah! Dunno who whole day use the computer."

Nicholas : "Yah lor. People own the computer wad."

(kaoz. I actually wanted to go inside the room and tell them that they can go play the computer already. But if YOU were ME, would you let them play after hearing all those stuff? I'd rather go back and play maplestory. Which i did.)


Since they like each other so much. FINE!!
I will reply them back the same way as they reply me.
They are damm close right? I'll make sure I'll distance myself SO FAR from them that they wont even know that this brother exists.

irritating bastards

irritating BROTHERS.

why cant my brother be like David or Simon?... @#@(*


Victor and Nicholas are BEGGING me to HATE them. I shell.

Wahaha... what could be better then doing computer games for homework?? =D 

The Eternal Dimension

Eternal Dimension....

What is everything we do now, in the time to come?
Time is immesuarable, and life is measurable.
We realize that whatever we do now is futile when we view the future as eternal...

Why do we work so hard when time is always against us?

The Eternal Dimension is the answer to why God would allow disasters to happen, such as earthquakes, hurricanes, floods and death.

God is a loving God. When a person dies without the hope of salvation, it pains Him severely. Why would He allow such disasters to happen, where hundreds of thousands perish?

We, in our human-self, blame God.
We criticize Him for not living up to His promise.
We justify His actions for our own premises.

BUT, we forget the most important thing. In every fair verdict, both parties must have a say!
We didnt allow God to tell us His truth!

Two of God's characteristics are
1) Omniscience
2) Eternal

Omnisicence - God knows everything. The past, the presence and the future. He knows BEYOND everything

Eternal - God created time! He is the ruler of Time exists outside the control of Time.

Thus, if we are to judge, we would lose the case fair and square.

Because, His plan is beyond our foresight.

i.e. I was brought up in an average income family. I lament that I was not born in a rich family. But the experiences that I gained, the wisdom that comes from being such, would not have been if I were in born in a rich family.
Thus, even though I lament, I could not foresee the outcome that being in an average income family would provide

To do so, a being would have to transcend time.

That being would have to be God.


well.. enough of my preaching, I posted this entry because I brought up the topic about the Hurricanes and Earthquakes to my father over dinner, and he gave an excellent answer in reply

- Who are we to judge God?
- Who are we to presume what God would do?
and.. finally.... the best answer
- Who are we?


Maaple...
Maaapppllleee..


=D